i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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