I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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