u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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