Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
