oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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