But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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