we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize