wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize