on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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