I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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