using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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