clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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