Ambien. No doubt about it.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
