I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
