God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
