Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
