Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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