i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
