Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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