You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
