I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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