I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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