Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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