Cold hands, warm shart.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
