We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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