I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
