i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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