Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
