And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
