his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
