Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
