Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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