we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
