i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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