why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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