she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
