I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Small penises have feelings too.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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