Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize