I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
