Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
