there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
