hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize