Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm at about main and main street
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
how do you play pong handcuffed?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
