there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
