No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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