So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
