I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
