Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize