she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
