i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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