I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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