he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
