you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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