We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
