Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
