To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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