I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
