My brain says no but my pants say off.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
