Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
