i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize