I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
tell me about the fingering
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