omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
