margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
