girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
