Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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