Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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