Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

If I was on drugs, this would be amazing

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(504): View more from Louisiana

As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.

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(205): View more from Alabama

This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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(360): View more from Washington

super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again

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(315): View more from New York

Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?

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(850): View more from Florida

Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked

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(909): View more from California

who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.

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