you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
