Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
