This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
