You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
